14 Ways to Find Joy and Better Love Yourself

Happy Sunday, loves.

I don’t usually post at the beginning of the week, mostly because I’m overwhelmed with the impending doom of my corporate job responsibilities on Mondays. But, in the past couple of years, especially after graduating college, I’ve found myself prioritizing joy in the small things. It’s crazy how these little things really get me through my day.

Even if it’s just admiring my nail color as I frantically type out marketing assets for work.

Self-care is the practice of actively taking part in protecting one’s own well-being and happiness, especially during periods of stress. In the winter months, it’s so easy for me to fall victim to the long, dark, cold days and not prioritize myself. But, self-care doesn’t have to mean long drawn out rituals with fancy products or expensive meals and coffees, (even though I do love these things). It can be going for a walk, going to bed a little earlier, or even taking time to get out of our own head.

My point is: there are millions of ways to find solace and contentment in the little things. It’s just your job to notice them.

Being a full-time employee in corporate America can be incredibly draining and mundane. I hope that this post helps you to notice little reasons that your life is worth waking up for. The little things may end up being the big things.

1.    Don’t force yourself to wake up early.

So yes, I do have to be on my computer at a certain time for work each day. And if waking up at 5 or 6 AM works for you and your body, then wake up at that time. But I think that a lot of times, we force ourselves to wake up way earlier than we need to because we think it is healthier. And honestly, this may not even be what your body needs. Everyone is different, and you should find a time that works for you (and your schedule) that fuels your body and makes you feel awake and refreshed.

2.    Take a breather and thank your body.

Have you ever stopped for a second and taken a deep breath? It’s an involuntary process our body does in the background for us constantly, and we only really notice it when we’re out of breath or when we’re taking 20 minutes to meditate. But I want to ask you now, to take a deep breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Really notice how your body feels. We only really thank our body for its healthiness when we have just come down from a sick spell or a long workout. But sitting here, just existing, take a minute to notice how great you feel. You are a healthy, breathing human. Be grateful for this.

3.    Find your own fitness routine.

A lot of times we think that to be “fit” we must run a half marathon, or do spin classes every day, or be able to lift double our weight. And that may be someone’s journey. But, again, everyone is different. Some people love slow and intentional workouts, some people love hiking and walking, some people love HIIT, or swimming. We need to listen to our bodies. Although we should be incorporating movement into our everyday routines, we shouldn’t be forcing ourselves to do something we hate.  You should be working out in a way that makes you excited. Trying out new workouts is a task but finding a workout that doesn’t feel like torture makes movement so much easier to incorporate.

4.   Implement play into your life.

If you have children or pets, I’m sure this is already incorporated. Being able to see life through your animal’s or children’s lives is so precious, and really gives perspective on not taking life so seriously. There is something so special about being able to forget the heavier or burdensome areas of our lives and just play like a child.
This could be anything from playing video games or joining an intramural sports league with your friends. Or it could be as simple as playing a board game or doing a puzzle. I get so caught up in my adult responsibilities sometimes that I forget to just play. Playing relieves stress, it helps your brain think in different ways, and it could help with creativity. Plus, it boosts serotonin and endorphins.

5.    Spend time with friends that fill you up

A lot of times, and maybe less so when you’re in your 20s, you think you need to be a part of a larger friend group. And this is simply not sustainable. Having quality people around you, over the quantity, is so important. It’s also important to prioritize friendships these days, as we are growing older and falling into new patterns of life that lend challenges to relationships that may have just been convenient for us in the past. But we are meant to be in community with one another, and we have to nurture the relationships that fill our cup. So, take the girls trip, go on the coffee date, invite them over for a wine night. They’re your family. <3.

6.   Savor your morning coffee

Now, this one may seem simple, but it is one of the most important grounding rituals that I implemented. If you aren’t a coffee drinker this could be your tea, your water, your morning newspaper, book, or a journal. It could be your morning walk or a song you listen to everyday. Regardless, taking time in the morning to wake up and do something that brings you comfort is an unmatchable skill. No matter what you have going on that day, just taking a few moments for yourself in the morning to sit and mindfully savor your time with yourself can do wonders for your mood.

7.    Simplify your wardrobe

Don’t get me wrong, I love to pick out outfits at the beginning of the day. I love to show off my creativity through my personal style. But, a lot of the times, I can get really overwhelmed by what looks good and how I could style a certain shirt a million different ways, and sometimes it’s just too much. This year, I’ve been trying to focus on purchasing reliable clothing pieces that will be staples in my wardrobe for years and donating the clothes I don’t wear as often. It brings me a lot of peace and contentment knowing that I’m spending my time and money on better things than being stressed out about what to wear, haha.

8.   Don’t overbook your calendar

Even on the days that I have maybe a small amount of free time, I always seem to urge myself to fill it with something productive, whether that is another workout or doing chores, or even taking on another project at work (BIG mistake!!). And recently, I’ve been challenging myself to just sit. Maybe read. Maybe take a nap. Listening to my body. When I have a free moment, I don’t need to fill it with anything. Hustle culture has created this toxic mindset that if you aren’t filling your days with productivity, you aren’t progressing and you aren’t growing. I believe quite the opposite. Without these slower spaces to breathe, I can’t focus. I’m more prone to burnout if I don’t take time for myself. And sometimes it even comes down to scheduling free time. I recommend blocking out squares of time in your day to take a breather. Seriously.

9.   Learn to be comfortable in silence

Now, this is hard for me. I am CONSTANTLY on my computer, my phone, or have something playing on my AirPods. I must be listening to something at all times of the day. Silence is uncomfortable. I barely experience it, especially living in Chicago, haha. But it is so important to just be with your thoughts. I find that when I’m not constantly multi-tasking or stimulated, I am so much more creative and receptive to my inner-most ideas.

10.   Curate a cozy space that brings you joy

I know how fun and important it is to some people to have a perfectly curated space straight from Pinterest or following the trends on Tik Tok. Trust me, I use it for inspiration too 😊. When I was decorating our apartment, I wanted to use so many trendy items to fill our space. And I feel like I did that to an extent, but as I look around, I realize that while we may not have the most “in” and trendy furniture pieces, our apartment brings me so much peace and joy. I love every part of it. Most of our furniture was bought second hand and some we even had in college. Because I work from home, it is a necessity that my space feels cozy and comfy. It’s lived in and decorated with photos and books we’ve read and little knick knacks we’ve collected. We’ve created a home, and I couldn’t be more grateful for each and every part of it.

11. Try to get direct sunlight and fresh air every day

One of the most underrated feelings in my opinion is feeling the direct sunlight on your skin. According to many health websites, getting Vitamin D has insane health benefits and plays a big role in bone health, skin health, and actually releases serotonin in your brain. I believe only about 5-15 minutes of sunlight exposure gets you your daily value. Obviously, wear sunscreen. But Mr. Sun up there in the sky might be the key to peace, ngl.

12. Let go of limiting ideas about love.

I know that being in a relationship is constantly romanticized. And honestly, they should be. But for us single gals, it’s really hard to not lust after a relationship while we’re single. Especially near Valentine’s Day like, OMG. But, we have to understand that no romantic relationship is without fault. No platonic relationship goes without its challenges. Be grateful for the relationships in your life that fill you up, but also understand that the most important relationship you hold is with yourself. No worthwhile partnership will ever be easy. You HAVE to love yourself first, and cultivating a respect for your own worth. You have the rest of your life to be with a significant other. Spend the time you have now belonging to yourself, and no one else.

13. Ask for help.

We too often think that other’s don’t want to be bothered with our problems, and that we are inconveniencing our loved ones when we need guidance. Everyone has their own problems, so why even try? It’s hard to admit you are struggling, and even harder to ask for help. But I can promise you that everyone is facing something. They wouldn’t be human if they weren’t. So don’t suffer alone, and don’t always expect yourself to get through things on your own. You’d drop whatever you were doing to help the ones you love, right? So, stop believing that they wouldn’t do the exact same thing.

14.  Forgive yourself

You don’t know what you don’t know. You have to understand that we are human beings. Making mistakes and failing are both a part of our experience. We wouldn’t learn and grow without them. There’s this Maya Angelou quote that I love: “Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn’t know before you learned it.” There are so many versions of you that make you who you are. You need to forgive those versions that operated out of fear instead of growth. You need to forgive the ones that viewed your comfort zone as a safe space. You need to forgive the ones that abandoned boundaries to keep other people happy, and forgive all the versions that didn’t know that love begins with how you treat YOU.

Allow this list to empower you to come back to yourself. I hope that this Valentine’s Day proves that falling in love with yourself is the most steadfast love.

Talk soon,

Hannah <3